When I was a young girl I remember playing on a grass hill and one of my aunts called out to me “You look soooo big and black!” as the sun was cascading on my back. It was clear in her tone and smirk that this was the worst possible names to be called. It was summer, I was heading into the fourth grade and for years after, that moment played in the back of my mind.
I was blessed with a mother who always talked about how beautiful my “black” was. She is a San Francisco native who grew up with “Say it Loud! I’m Black and I’m PROUD” She would tell me the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice! After that you could not tell me my black was not sweet.
As for the “big”, it creep up on me in 3rd grade. And continue to expand over the years. I wasn’t too concerned about that part besides she was NO little nugget herself lol.
What my aunt did was let me in on the fact that not everyone sees me as being beautiful. In her eyes, my dark melanin damned me to ugliness. I’m still praying for her. Lol, my point is beauty is all of you, from the birth mark to your body shape to your mane. It is all beauty that you must see in yourself. The world is cruel in how they define beauty. Don’t you dare be cruel to yourself.
A lot of folks have their public and private life. And some folks are able to balance the pressure of both well. And others simply put a mask on not really being authentic in their public life or private life. The first question I always want to ask is why? What is the fear you have?
I am a true believer that being authentically you is the most freeing and beautiful state of being. Being you is living life as you have chosen, living life your way regardless what lemons it can toss you.
Think about this quote: “One of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your own sense of self and accept the version of you that is expected by everyone else.” K.L. Toth
It has me thinking again about one’s worry about what everyone else perception of them. It seems like a unfair burden to carry on based on other people. If you read my earlier post you know I am not a fan of that!
Here is another perspective-
Think about this quote: ““You’ll never know who you are unless you shed who you pretend to be.” -Vironika Tugaleva
Who are you really? What defines who you are? Are you hiding behind a mask that starves the world of your personal awesomeness.
Today, I just want you to think.
I remember the moment I had signed up for a singing contest and it was being held during the half time of college basketball games. I remember the drop in my stomach and thinking to myself, WHY did I do this to myself! Why did I put myself out there to be judge not only by the actual judges but the whole University. Well truth be told a friend of mine talked me into auditioning but the truth be told I only really do what I want but either way I still had to be BRAVE.
I had to have a made up mind that I am going for it! I was going to tackle it head on and win. Yes, I actually did win it all! lol
Life often makes us want to fall back and take the most easiest route. The truth is the only way out, the only way to bring about change is to go through it. To be brave and face the challenges that create barriers from us living the highest quality of life.
Call out what is making you want to hide! Call out the fear you have! It does not have power over you when you decided that you are going to put HANDS ON IT! When you decide that you are going to HANDLE IT! Call it out today!
“I will have victory over you! I will not be afraid, I _________________________will be brave!”
I hope your short week for most and regular for some is going well! I was talking with some girlfriends about the things in life I want to change about my current status in life in many areas of my life. And as we were talking I was thinking about the “WHY” I wanted change in different areas and they were talking about their “WHYs”.
In this conversation I realized how easy it is to seek change based on the perception of others and the vibes you get from others and others insecurities that can creep up under the radar like “YOU” have them when you don’t!
It happens so easily but what I shared with them and what I want to share with you is DON’T change because you think that is what other’s want you to do. DON’T change the interaction between yourself and other individuals UNLESS it will be a blessing to your life and those you love!
We can’t afford to live our lives based on other people’s insecurities. We most stand confidently in our own awesomeness. How often do we change how we look to satisfy someone else’s perception of us? Now, of the bat some of you will be like NOPE not ME! But really think about other situations where you began to change when really it was not benefiting you but other people….Just think.
Hope or being hopeful is a state of being and believing.
I live in a mindset of being hopeful! It keeps me expecting the best our of life and it keeps me motivated to stay the course for my goals and dreams.
I hopeful that each day will be better than before.
I am hopeful that my faith in God will sustain me even when I become doubtful and fearful.
I am hopeful that the people I surround myself with have my best interest at heart.
I am hopeful that the best is yet to come.
I encourage you to say out loud what you are hopeful for and live with an intentional heart.
Happy Friday Everyone!
I hope today you woke up feeling powerful, amazing and more than enough! Ready to soar in your personal awesomeness!!!
My name is Kimberly Walker the Founder & CEO of Curves Beautifully Empowered and this is Focus Friday! Our topic today is: Our Determination Informs Our Future!
The best way for me to explain is to share my story about 2014.
In 2014 I contracted a staph infection that almost took my life. It started with a pain in my shoulder that turn from nagging to raging pain. I wanted to go home and ice it or warm it. Just get me home was all I was thinking!
Got home it became worse. My legs swelled and in need for relief I asked my sister for luke warm water so I could soak my tight feet and after immersing it, my feet blister within seconds. My father said, you have an infection
To the ER I went and within 2 hours I was on the surgery table, my family not knowing what fate I would have but they are Godly people who love Jesus and they prayed for me along with my church family others who were called upon.
While in semi-unconsciousness for 8 days, I fought for my life between a dark and light. And I remember wanting to scream out and telling God that, I am not ready yet, there is so much to be done. I have so much purpose.
The 8th day I came full to consciousness and look around to see my family and close friends. Flowers and balloons.
I was also fully informed that I didn’t have insurance through my employer AND I knew I only had 2 ½ months left of employment. Oh and I was entered in to the American Beauties Plus Pageant for April! I had to decide was I going to let that moment define me or will I define this moment with determination to conquer this challenge
Four the next week I made small commitments to myself to:
Regain my ability to walk and have balance.
Mentally practicing my steps/turns to compete.
Work on my interviewing skills.
Go back to work and close out my job to the best of my ability. *Note my mom was over my employer and came to my center every day! Lol.
When people showed me who they were in their speech and actions, I believed them.
I kept my mindset positive and spirted with determination.
I kept my daily prayer and devotion life tight to increase my strength.
These things propelled me to get on a flight with my sister friends and family to Atlanta, and compete and win a national crown.
My determination informs my future, it shapes my victory and my intentional action seals the deal.
To me being a respectful human being means that I value myself and others. And because I do I have boundaries and take care in the way I speak and how I behave in public and behind closed doors.
Bottom line when you walk in a respectful nature you take care in how you represent yourself in all manners of life. A respectful human being pays attention to what is going on at the surface and looking to dig deeper.
Superficial is often not being real with oneself, it is not speaking the truth or your truth. It really is not being honest about your feelings and motives in the words you say and the way you behave in your actions!
I feel like this is an epidemic.
So how do you know the difference? How do we stay authentic?
Take your time to get to know people. Why are you rushing it? What will be lost if you set aside time to have some real conversations and get to know people’s heart?
And while you are having these conversations, make sure your ears are open and eyes seeing the reflection of their speech in their actions and interactions.
Your people pleasing ways will always get in your way. I know go ahead and say it! I am bothered and I don’t care what people think. Ummmhmmm many say that but if you are not invited to an event, or the right people didn’t like your post or you’re not the go to person for XY & Z….Can you sit with that?
Can you stand being unliked? Because if you cannot then you are more than likely living a lavishly superficial lifestyle and you lack the truth tellers in your life that will help keep you grounded.
Queens know Queens and Kings know Kings…meaning you know when you meet someone if you are of the same cloth, have the same vibe, of the same spirit AND so you really know when you are not! Which means when you are pressing to force a relationship to happen for whatever benefit you THINK you will get…you might as well be pouring salt into koolaid…it will never be sweet.
In other words, follow favor. You are doing yourself an injustice of trying to fit into where you are not wanted. To force a connection or a door that is not open to you. Listen, you know and they know the right connection is not there and so it will be a fake, false, superficial union that will never serve you well.
When it is all said and done you must look in the mirror and feel good about the person you are…the person you are becoming. We should all strive to become better respectful human beings.