It is with great pleasure that we announce one of our CBEE3 Inspirational Panel Speaker Chisa O’Quinn Founder of My Sister’s Keeper Northwest!
Chisa O’Quinn is a Social Worker who has traveled with individuals through the worlds of Corrections, Counseling, Disability Services, Mental Health, and Substance Abuse. What sets her apart as a leader and advocate in the field is her ability to creatively seek solutions in difficult situations, and her focus on person centered planning strategies. Chisa holds a Masters in Social Work from Portland State University. She has been in the field of Developmental Disabilities since 2003, starting as an Employment Specialist, Supported Employment Program Manager and Personal Agent in Vancouver, WA. Recently, Chisa was a Personal Agent in Oregon’s Brokerage system.
Chisa is an avid spectator who enjoys watching sporting events, comedy shows, theater, movies and generally saying “yes” to new opportunities and activities that cross her path. Chisa is the founder of My Sister’s Keeper NW, an event planning organization designed to connect, empower, and enrich women. Her volunteer interests include volunteer coordination for iUrbanTeen and Mosaic Blueprint.
When I was a young girl I remember playing on a grass hill and one of my aunts called out to me “You look soooo big and black!” as the sun was cascading on my back. It was clear in her tone and smirk that this was the worst possible names to be called. It was summer, I was heading into the fourth grade and for years after, that moment played in the back of my mind.
I was blessed with a mother who always talked about how beautiful my “black” was. She is a San Francisco native who grew up with “Say it Loud! I’m Black and I’m PROUD” She would tell me the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice! After that you could not tell me my black was not sweet.
As for the “big”, it creep up on me in 3rd grade. And continue to expand over the years. I wasn’t too concerned about that part besides she was NO little nugget herself lol.
What my aunt did was let me in on the fact that not everyone sees me as being beautiful. In her eyes, my dark melanin damned me to ugliness. I’m still praying for her. Lol, my point is beauty is all of you, from the birth mark to your body shape to your mane. It is all beauty that you must see in yourself. The world is cruel in how they define beauty. Don’t you dare be cruel to yourself.
A lot of folks have their public and private life. And some folks are able to balance the pressure of both well. And others simply put a mask on not really being authentic in their public life or private life. The first question I always want to ask is why? What is the fear you have?
I am a true believer that being authentically you is the most freeing and beautiful state of being. Being you is living life as you have chosen, living life your way regardless what lemons it can toss you.
Think about this quote: “One of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your own sense of self and accept the version of you that is expected by everyone else.” K.L. Toth
It has me thinking again about one’s worry about what everyone else perception of them. It seems like a unfair burden to carry on based on other people. If you read my earlier post you know I am not a fan of that!
Here is another perspective-
Think about this quote: ““You’ll never know who you are unless you shed who you pretend to be.” -Vironika Tugaleva
Who are you really? What defines who you are? Are you hiding behind a mask that starves the world of your personal awesomeness.
Today, I just want you to think.
I hope your short week for most and regular for some is going well! I was talking with some girlfriends about the things in life I want to change about my current status in life in many areas of my life. And as we were talking I was thinking about the “WHY” I wanted change in different areas and they were talking about their “WHYs”.
In this conversation I realized how easy it is to seek change based on the perception of others and the vibes you get from others and others insecurities that can creep up under the radar like “YOU” have them when you don’t!
It happens so easily but what I shared with them and what I want to share with you is DON’T change because you think that is what other’s want you to do. DON’T change the interaction between yourself and other individuals UNLESS it will be a blessing to your life and those you love!
We can’t afford to live our lives based on other people’s insecurities. We most stand confidently in our own awesomeness. How often do we change how we look to satisfy someone else’s perception of us? Now, of the bat some of you will be like NOPE not ME! But really think about other situations where you began to change when really it was not benefiting you but other people….Just think.
To me being a respectful human being means that I value myself and others. And because I do I have boundaries and take care in the way I speak and how I behave in public and behind closed doors.
Bottom line when you walk in a respectful nature you take care in how you represent yourself in all manners of life. A respectful human being pays attention to what is going on at the surface and looking to dig deeper.
Superficial is often not being real with oneself, it is not speaking the truth or your truth. It really is not being honest about your feelings and motives in the words you say and the way you behave in your actions!
I feel like this is an epidemic.
So how do you know the difference? How do we stay authentic?
Take your time to get to know people. Why are you rushing it? What will be lost if you set aside time to have some real conversations and get to know people’s heart?
And while you are having these conversations, make sure your ears are open and eyes seeing the reflection of their speech in their actions and interactions.
Your people pleasing ways will always get in your way. I know go ahead and say it! I am bothered and I don’t care what people think. Ummmhmmm many say that but if you are not invited to an event, or the right people didn’t like your post or you’re not the go to person for XY & Z….Can you sit with that?
Can you stand being unliked? Because if you cannot then you are more than likely living a lavishly superficial lifestyle and you lack the truth tellers in your life that will help keep you grounded.
Queens know Queens and Kings know Kings…meaning you know when you meet someone if you are of the same cloth, have the same vibe, of the same spirit AND so you really know when you are not! Which means when you are pressing to force a relationship to happen for whatever benefit you THINK you will get…you might as well be pouring salt into koolaid…it will never be sweet.
In other words, follow favor. You are doing yourself an injustice of trying to fit into where you are not wanted. To force a connection or a door that is not open to you. Listen, you know and they know the right connection is not there and so it will be a fake, false, superficial union that will never serve you well.
When it is all said and done you must look in the mirror and feel good about the person you are…the person you are becoming. We should all strive to become better respectful human beings.
Excited to invite you to join me every Friday beginning my birthday week on APRIL 7, 2017 as I take on issues that WE need and MUST talk about.
Let me make a quick list so you know what I am talking about.
1. I am fine! – But are we really? Why don’t we speak the truth?
2. I will DO something! – We are often glistened eyes and ready to jump at doing something and then we fall off. How can we stop doing that?
3. Define Acceptance – I will let that marinated, how often do we accept the things that we can change?
This will be some gooooood chat so please join me on my Instagram: KimberlyWalkercbe, Periscope: Kimberlyjwalker and of course Facebook Live: www.facebook.com/kimjwalker
Check out my contact page and 1 click get you there!
Karen Terrado, M.Ed.| South King County, Washington | Organization: SOAR | Building Effective Partnerships for Children, Youth and Families
Karen Terrado leads SOAR’s Youth Development and Engagement work in King County, Washington. She is an advocate for youth voice and works to expand and create pathways for young people to learn, engage and organize. She is a University of Washington graduate, a Bachelor degree in Society, Ethics and Human Behavior with minor in Human Rights and a Master in Education Policy. Prior to working with SOAR, Karen designed and implemented research-driven community projects like Bothell Youth Court, that serves the Northshore School District, hearing traffic violations by youth for youth guided by restorative justice principles. She has been a strong partner and supporter to various youth, equity and social change projects and initiatives in Washington State